☼inmydreams...

the whole camera situation has made me realise how much i love and appreciate photography, the way you can capture a moment forever, the way you can change the colours and effects and create a whole new feel to the image. i just want my camera back. everything i see i just think to my self "that would make a perfect photo". i guess you really don't notice how much you need something until its gone, i feel like i have no freedom.. okay, i may be taking this a little too far now, but this is really how i feel at the moment.

i've been thinking about my future a lot lately and what i want to study at college and university, which college and university i'd like to go to, what career i'd like to persue. my mum ordered a prospectus from a good college not far away from where i live and i looked through the list of A Levels they have on offer and i can honestly say there was not one that appealed to me, not a single one. i wish there was a photography A Level, well, you never know, there probably is. truthfully though, i've contemplated many careers, fashion design, journalism, author, even forensic science and the only one i can really imagine myself doing is art and photography, although i know its so hard to get a good job within this subject. decisions, decisions... i know i'm only 15 and i have years left to decide what i want to do, but all of my friends seem to have their future planned out already and i feel like i spend too much time with my head in the clouds not really taking in whats going on around me, i've just picked my phone up that was right next to me and realised i have 4 texts, why didn't i hear it vibrate? i live in some sort of fantasy world where, to me, everything is happy and funny and always has a happy ending. i know i'm going to have to wake up soon though otherwise i'll get nowhere in life.

anyway, the above photos are taken by ellen rogers, a photographer i've just discovered recently. her work kind of reminds me of myself, a real person, just with a colourful haze blurring my vision of reality.

wow, this was the deepest post i've ever written, i never usually write so much about my feelings. well who knew that breaking my camera would make me go all poetic, sorry if this post bored you.

if you've got this far, thankyou,

mynameisCAITLIN☼