happiness.

Firstly, i would like to apologise for my absence over the past few months. secondly, i would also like to apologise for the depressing posts. my life's changed a lot lately and not exactly for the better, but instead of wallowing in self pity, i've decided to take a different outlook on things, no matter how much i would like them to, things are never going back to the way they used to be, so its time for me to move on and try and be happy again. which is why i'm back and have decided to write a "how to be happy" post, because it turns out, its not always that easy. so, here we go..

How To Be Happy
1) Change things up a bit - Make a change to your appearance or buy something new, just change something, anything. I died my hair red the other day, now i don't feel boring when i look in the mirror and it feels great. here's what it looks like:

2) Stock up on happy things - Here is what's been keeping my smiling lately. yes, that is an Arctic Monkeys ticket, yes they were absolutely amazing and yes i am in love with alex turner. there's my pet rock ronaldfer, he doesn't really do much but looking at him amuses me. the only two men i need, ben and jerry. enough said. then there's the vitamin b6 tablets my mum makes me take, they're supposed to "promote a healthy heart, brain, skin and hormone balance" i haven't really noticed a difference, but taking them keeps my her happy and if she's happy then i'm happy. then there's books, i love reading and i don't do enough of it lately so i'm making an effort with "Style Diaries" its great, i reccommend it for outfit inspiration and last but not least it "Wreck This Journal" its looking a bit shabby but that's the idea, i unleash my anger on it.

3) Stop caring - Not about everything, just what people think. it's your life and aslong as you know what you do is right, or you can accept that what you have done is wrong and learn from mistakes, then who is anyone else to judge?

So there you have it, three steps to happiness. It's tried and tested. Well.. on myself. Here is a happy song to top off your new happy mood.

mynameisCAITLIN☼

☼complicated...

you seem such a lovely person. we all have a past, me included, but can i trust you? i want to, still i can't let myself fall too deep, i'm scared it'll end in hurt and even though i may deserve that, i don't know if i could put myself through it. i really want to put my trust in you, you say you've changed but the only way you can prove that is for me to let you show me, but is that a risk i'm willing to take? why do i insist on complicating my life? why?




hmfph,
mynameisCAITLIN☼

☼fuckedupbigtime...

so what do you do when you've spent your life being the good person, watching everyone else's mistakes knowing that you will never be stupid enough to get yourself into one of those situations. i would never be so stupid as to make myself the subject of everyones gossip in the worst way possible and i would never be so stupid as to make everyone around me feel like i'm untrusted, but most of all, i would never ever be so stupid as to hurt people.

but i have.

☼timetomoveon...

this morning i recieved a text message "are you up? we need to talk." now this can never be a good thing coming from your boyfriend and the text i recieved next was the most pathetic thing i've read in all my 15 years, "i'm not happy with being in a relationship anymore, since we broke up it just hasn't been the same and i am so sorry to say this but i dont want to be together anymore" except he didnt say it did he? it was a text. nearly two years ended with one text! classy. shows how much i meant to him and he couldnt even cunjure up the courage to ring me, or god forbid arrange to meet.


so thats it and i suprisingly feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, like i'm free to do what i like and i just feel so happy. i really just cant understand it, last time i was reduced to a quivering wimpy wreck, but this time, i cant begin to explain just how much shit i dont actually give. its amazing and i feel great, i really do.


so i just thought, if anybody cares, that i would update you with this breakthrough. i would say, i'm, off to get over him, but however impossible this may seem, i think i already am! ha! stuff you robert!


sorry this was just a short post, i will leave you with this wonderful peice of wisdom.

see you soon,

mynameisCAITLIN☼

☼homesweethome...

recently i've been thinking about the future, what i'm going to be, where i'm going to live, who i'm going to live with, but mostly, what my home will look like. i've always liked interior design, i remember being little watching shows like changing rooms with my mum, i loved how the whole aura of a room could be changed with a bit of paint. the only problem was, they always had a colour scheme and that meant they could only buy certain things to match the rooms. i really don't want that, i want to travel to different countries and buy unique things from little market stalls and bring them back, knowing that the fact none of the things match is why they will go well with my house when i bring them back, i want my house to be pretty and have words and quotes on the walls. i don't know if this is making sense but i've found lots of pictures on different blogs and put them in a folder on my laptop called my house and when the time comes that i can begin to decorate my own house i can look back on those photos for inspiration. here are a few of my favourites.

if any of these photos belong to you, let me know and i will give credit.

mynameisCAITLIN☼

so these past two weeks i've been on work experience at my old primary school, to be honest, i wasnt really looking forward to it at first, but its not been what i expected, i've settled in really well and i'm actually quite enjoying it. one of the kids got me a present today because its my last day there tomorrow, i got a mug, some absolutely gorgeous rocky road and a card addressed to "Miss Pugh" - i'll never get used to that.

i've not posted in a while, sorry about that, me and robert are good and better than ever. that time apart worked wonders, i'll not be going through it again anytime soon though. anyway, i have a dilemma, i've been looking through all the prom dresses from this year and just realised the other day that i've never ever seen a prom dress that i like... ever. i think that even though they cost hundreds of pounds, they just look pretty tacky and i'd rather just spend my money on a really nice interesting dress from a shop like topshop or urban outfitters, somewhere like that. so obviously, this presents me with a problem for next year, do i go to my prom in a dress that i dont like much, or go in one that will make me look like i haven't put enough effort into? i cant decide. i dont want the generic princessy, bright pink, strapless prom dress with gems sewed in, i want an original, interesting one, i just dont know where to look : any ideas would be much appreciated, obviously, i have a year to decide, but the sooner i do, the sooner i can get looking.

i was thinking, maybe something like this, let me know what you think, thanks guys! i will leave you with this picture i took of some ducks.

help would be appreciated,

mynameisCAITLIN☼

☼goodtimes...

so after the depressing post the other day i actually got back with robert today, which has made me the happiest girl in the world, my tears of sadness have been replaced with ones of joy, lifes good again and i couldnt be much happier :D

sorry this is just a short post,
mynameisCAITLIN☼